A Tutor's Reflections: Becoming More of Myself

These past few weeks have stretched me inward and outward. Through community, creativity, and challenge, I’ve reconnected with parts of myself I’d tucked away. This reflection is about healing, voice, and what it means to lead without shrinking. 🌿

I’ve spent the past few weeks in California, living close to others and engaging in deep conversations around community and social justice. These interactions have been eye-opening and affirming. I’ve also had space to express myself creatively, singing again for the first time in a long while, beyond the spontaneous bursts of song at home. That creative reconnection has felt like returning to a part of myself I often neglect.

This time has brought meaningful self-discovery. I’m learning to walk away from past trauma, generational patterns, and limiting beliefs that no longer serve me. One of the most important things I’ve been unpacking is how I see myself, as a Black woman, a leader, and often an outlier among those closest to me.

I’ve struggled with how to remain steady and firm in my convictions, especially when they make others uncomfortable. I often uphold expectations because I can see the long-term value, even when others can’t. When others waver and I don’t, I sometimes receive pushback that turns personal. People may lash out or attempt to discredit me, and that hurts. It shakes my confidence and sometimes makes me want to shrink or silence myself.

But I’m learning not to internalize that response. I’m learning to trust my intuition, stay true to my integrity, and honor my voice. This isn’t just about healing, it’s about becoming the kind of leader, creator, and entrepreneur who can hold space for others while standing firm in what I know to be true.

Why This Experience Is Valuable to Me as a Developing Entrepreneur:

Clarity of Voice and Vision

Learning to honor my voice, even when it’s challenged, helps me stay aligned with my mission. That clarity is essential for both leadership and business building.

Emotional Resilience

Facing pushback and choosing not to shrink builds emotional endurance. This strength supports me in moments of uncertainty, negotiation, or criticism.

Boundary Setting and Integrity

Standing firm on expectations I believe in reinforces the importance of clear boundaries, values-based leadership, and long-term thinking.

Creative Reconnection

Rediscovering my creativity (like singing again) reminds me that joy, expression, and play are also part of the entrepreneurial process. Especially in my work as an organizer and advocate, where I uplift marginalized communities and speak out for the oppressed, creativity is essential. This work can be heavy, emotional, and deeply challenging. Creativity becomes an integral tool for processing and making meaning out of it all.

Healing as Strategy

Walking away from generational wounds and limiting beliefs is not personal, it’s strategic. I’m unlearning scarcity, invisibility, and over-functioning, all of which can block my ability to build something sustainable and meaningful.

Perspective on Leadership

I’m realizing that leadership often means being misunderstood or standing alone. That clarity helps me lead with compassion and strength, especially when coaching, collaborating, or guiding others.

I’m deeply grateful for this opportunity and for all the learning I’ve received. Coming here required a leap: I had to shift my teaching work, pause some client commitments, and rearrange my schedule. But this experience has been an investment in myself. Its fruits are already beginning to show, and many more, I believe, are still to come.